The Circumference of a Moose
by Such A Softer Sin
Summary: Oneshot Random ninjaness. And Gerard Butler. But mostly ninjas. And a sleepover that the guys spy on. With Kakashi leading them. That can't end well........................................................................................


**JUST TO TELL YOU THIS REALLY ISN'T MEANT TO BE SERIOUS IT'S LIKE 5 IN THE MORNING AND WE ARE BORED. THIS IS NOT A REFLECTION OF OUR WRITING SKILLS I PROMISE. AND ALSO...BI-NESS! BEWARE. OOOH SCARY WARNING. RUN IN FEAR MY PUPPETS!**

**Sakura has an awesome sleepover that results in ninja random-ness that only the Naruto cast can pull off…**

Sakura closed her eyes and sighed loudly. The clock hanging on the wall said it was half past six. The girls would soon be arriving. She couldn't suppress the smile that tugged on her lips. Since beginning her kunoichi training, the young girl had hardly had any girl time. Being a ninja was amazing, yes, but enduring years of male-oriented activities wore her out. Besides, getting to know the other kunoichi girls wasn't all in vain. Wouldn't this count as 'Getting to Know Your Enemy?'

Sakura was of course referring to Ino and their never ending battle for all around female supremacy. Sakura smirked at the thought. Things had definitely calmed down since the Chunnin Exams, but she suspected that there would always be some sort of rivalry between them.

It was then that her mind trailed to a certain teammate of hers. Sakura smiled, biting back the tears that always seemed to come at his memory. Sasuke was a difficult person to understand. He was like a walking pendulum of emotions. And now that he had returned, it was as though he'd never left, never betrayed them. She imagined people were trying to be polite by not bringing it up. After all, it wasn't like her affections for the arrogant Uchiha boy were unknown. All she had really needed was someone to talk to though. That was how she and Hinata Hyuuga had grown close. Sakura knew her friend had feelings for Naruto and while Hinata became Sakura's 'shoulder to lean on', Sakura had helped Hinata come somewhat out of her shy-girl stage. They had both been there for each other, and the end result was an extremely strong bond of friendship.

A knock at the door tore Sakura from her personal thoughts. Sakura jumped to her feet and ran to the door of her apartment, revealing her seemingly emotionally deprived friend. Her face instantly lit up.

"Hinata!" Sakura cried. Hinata smiled and laughed as Sakura pulled her inside. The place wasn't too eccentric, but humble and cozy.

"You're the first one! Ino and Tenten will get here later." Sakura said, watching her friend eye her apartment with subtle interest. Hinata grinned and gave her the thumbs up.

"So, tell me, how'd you get that sensei of yours to let you have the rest of the night off anyway?" Hinata asked. Sakura didn't like the suggestive tone Hinata was taking with her. After all it was a renowned fact that Kakashi-sensei was a bit of a pervert. She growled.

"Ew! Don't even think that! Ugh, I think I liked you better when you didn't talk." Hinata giggled.

"Whose fault is that?"

"Yours."

"Na-huh!" Hinata said, sticking her tongue out childishly.

"Ya-huh!" Sakura retaliated.

"NAH-AH!"

"YA-HUUUUH!"

Their _fight_ was cut short by another knock at the door. The two girls raced to answer it.

Hinata got there first. She opened Sakura's door; amidst Sakura's cries of "You cheated!"; and allowed the other two guests in.

"Hi!" Tenten said happily, stepping inside. Ino only smiled.

Sakura led her guests into the small room she had acquired as her sitting room and turned on her stereo. She grinned at them as the familiar tune of a Daft Punk song filled the somewhat quiet space.

"Let the party begin."

"Here's the plan men…" Kakashi said to the group standing before him. "…DIVIDE AND CONQUER!"

A hand was raised.

"Do you have a question Naruto?" Kakashi asked.

"Um. What exactly are we doing? Why did you tell us all to come here anyway? Where is Sakura? Isn't she part of our team? Oh! Are we going on a rescue mission? Did someone kidnap Sakura? What is the circumference of a moose? What are all these television sets for? Are we going to watch a movie? Is it a scary movie? Does it have Gerard Butler in it? Can I have some ramen-" Naruto was interrupted by a rock coming in contact with his skull. He looked over at Sasuke and scowled.

"If you will let me explain first…" Kakashi started. "We are here for a very _special_ mission. It just so happens that your teammate Sakura decided to host some sort of overnight get together with a few of her female friends."

Naruto's face lit up in recognition. "Ooooh… So Sakura is having a slumber party?" he asked. "Those are fun! Hey! Why weren't we invited? SAKURA DOESN'T LOVE US!"

"SHUT UP LOSER!" Sasuke yelled. Naruto turned to face his teammate and then grinned.

"Aww, don't be jealous, Sasuke! Kakashi-sensei and I weren't invited either!"

"I'm not jealous you moron." Sasuke snapped.

"Everyone shut the hell up!" Sasuke and Naruto turned to look at Kakashi.

"Thank you. Now as I was saying. I have very stealthily set up a surveillance system in Sakura's

Apartment-"

"How did you do that?" Sasuke yelled. "You…." His sentence trailed off, leaving Kakashi free to finish.

"I simply waited until Sakura was in the shower and set it up all ninja like. I put one in the living room, one in the bedroom, one in the kitchen, one in the bathroom-"

"I thought you said she was in the shower! You pervert!" Sasuke shouted, fists clenched.

Kakashi, hardly seemed to be paying attention to the rants of his young student. "She sure has grown up. And there I was treating her like such a child all these years. I mean, wasting time with that book when Sakura was standing right there…no matter. On to business. These monitors," he pointed to a series of television sets on a long table, "Will connect us directly to Sakura…we will be able to see and hear everything going on. And in color. Am I a genius or what?"

Sasuke promptly smashed the monitor that was showing an image of a bathroom. "Okay I'm in."

Naruto nodded. "MmmHmm. Me too. Though I am still mad she didn't invite me."

Hinata and Tenten exchanged exasperated but amused expressions as their two very competitive friends interlocked in yet another battle. Personally, Hinata thought Sakura was a much better singer than dancer. Ino surely had the upper hand in their DDR fight to the finish.

"Ah! You-will-not-beat-me-again!" Sakura cried in tired furry as she stomped onto the dancing pad. Ino gracefully followed the quick moving arrows of direction and swayed her body to the hype music blasting through the speakers.

"Oh, but that is where you were wrong. For I _shall _beat you again!" Sakura scoffed rather loudly and glared at the screen. Tenten groaned and leaned back in her seat on the couch.

"Just give up, Sakura! Ino has won four times straight! Can't you two find something…I dunno…_uncompetitive_?" Tenten asked, rubbing her temples. Sakura, not even looking at her, growled.

"Give up? You don't expect a trained kunoichi to just give up, do you?" Tenten scratched her head upon hearing this and dropped her head in defeat.

"No…never mind…forget I said anything!"

Hinata stared at the ceiling. The two of them had been at each other's throats all night. Sure it had only been forty minutes, but it was still certainly an annoying thing to have to endure. She was about to say something along the lines of Tenten's outburst when something caught her eye. Hinata looked closer. It seemed to just be a black dot on Sakura's ceiling, so she decided to just ignore it…for now. Until it really started to annoy her.

Being the ninja that she was, an idea suddenly struck her.

"Hey Sakura?" she asked.

"Hm?" Sakura didn't turn her head to look at her friend.

"You never DID tell me why Kakashi-sensei let you go early." She didn't have a good feeling about this.

"Well to be honest he really didn't seem upset. He just grinned and sent me on my way. Why?"

Hinata scratched her chin in confusion. "You'd think he would want you training and what not all the time what with the Chunnin Exams coming up again soon. He does want you to pass this time right?"

Sakura stopped 'dancing' and looked at Hinata.

"Come with me Sakura I need your help with something." Hinata said pulling her toward the bathroom.

She looked around the entire bathroom before deeming it safe and closing the door. Sakura glanced at Hinata worriedly.

"What's wrong Hinata?"

"I know why you were allowed to leave. Kakashi and the guys are spying on us." Hinata accused.

"How do you figure?" Sakura asked. "That is a pretty big accusation. And to be honest I don't think that they are that smart…or evil. Well, maybe Kakashi-sensei, but Naruto is too stupid."

"He's not stupid." Hinata blushed. "Anyway I saw something on your ceiling and I think It might be some sort of ya know video thingy."

"Huh? That makes no sense. When would Kakashi have had time to install that kind of technology in my house…don't you think I would have noticed something. I mean… it is kind of hard to miss a guy putting cameras on your ceiling." Sakura argued.

"Go look then… but make it subtle." Hinata suggested.

Nodding somewhat hesitantly, Sakura walked out of the bathroom and into her living room. Feigning a loud yawn she rolled her head up to the ceiling and squinted at the swirled white paint, searching for anything out of the ordinary. Lucky for her, her training had not been a waste of time. She quickly noticed the black dot that Hinata had been questioning.

"Hey, what did Hinata want?" Ino asked, still standing on the dance pad. Sakura blinked before grinning.

"Tampon. I'm all out. And I think it's …her…_first time_. I could use a hand." Sakura lied, nudging her head towards the bathroom. Ino nodded and her and Tenten followed Sakura into the bathroom. When Sakura shut the door, Ino was pulling a tampon from her purse.

"It may seem gross at first, but you'll hardly feel a-"

"Ino, I do _not _have my period. Sakura just said that as a diversion to get you in here without attracting attention." Hinata said as a very serious look crossed over her pretty features. Ino and Tenten blinked in confusion.

"Attract attention? From who?"

Hinata plopped onto the sink counter and cleared her throat.

"It seems someone planted a camera in Sakura's home when she wasn't around. We have a feeling that this is the dirty work of Kakashi-sensei and the rest of team 7."

Tenten gasped.

"But…why would they want to do that?" she asked.

Sakura and Hinata shrugged.

"No lives? No plans? Seriously uncontrollable libidos…who knows?" Sakura said. "The point is… they are spying on us. I say, if they want to play dirty…let's play dirty."

"So…we are just going to let them watch us?" Hinata asked nervously. She wasn't sure she was comfortable with that idea.

"Oh yes." Sakura answered devilishly. "They want a show…they'll get a show….Revenge is sweet. Okay guys plans?"

Five minutes later the four girls exited the bathroom, each of them sporting a small but present smirk. This was going to be fun.

"So you see Hinata…it is really much more convenient to use a tampon. Especially with your chosen…profession." Ino said unable to hide the hint of a smile that graced her features.

Hinata merely nodded.

The three boys stared blankly at the screen. This wasn't exactly the action they had been hoping for. No, not at all. Actually, Sasuke had been tempted to leave at the mention of Hinata and tampons. That was just too much for the sixteen year old Uchiha to take. Kakashi had however forced him to stay, promising to help him with a new jutsu. Damned persuasive guy.

"So," Ino started the conversation, "Have you guys ever wondered about Sasuke and Naruto?"

"What do you mean?" Tenten asked.

"You know, do you think they are like…gay?"

Sakura opened her mouth, ready to defend the boy she so clearly loved, but stopped herself, as if in thought.

"Well…you know, I think I see where you're going with this…Naruto and Sasuke haven't really…focused on girls ever, have they? And they're sixteen now…it _is _a little strange…"

Hinata nodded. "Yeah. Sasuke has an entire fan club of girls to choose from and yet he hardly looks twice at them."

"Aaand…" Ino added, "They _did_ kiss that one time. They can call it an accident all they want but they know they wanted it!"

The four girls laughed. Hinata turned and stared at Sakura and frowned.

"You should confront Sasuke." Sakura blinked and then glared menacingly back at her friend.

"Oh yeah…can't you just see it now? 'Hi, Sasuke! By the way…..I have something to tell you…'" she broke out in song, "_If you were gay…that'd be okay…I mean cause hey! I'd like you anyway. You can count on me…to always be…beside you everyday to tell you it's okay, you were just born that way. And as they say, it's in your DNA… you're gay!_"

The girls were practically rolling on the floor in laughter.

"Holy crap…where the hell did you get _that _from?" Tenten asked, wiping tears from her eyes. Sakura grinned.

"Gravitation AMV…" she trailed off sheepishly. Ino blinked and then grinned again.

"Gravitation, eh? Ryuuichi Sakuma is hot."

The girls nodded fiercely in agreement. Tenten scratched her chin.

"Funny you should mention that. There are gay guys in that too."

"No wonder Naruto stole my Gravitation mangas!" Sakura cried.

"Yeah, I thought he was just another otaku. He probably just wanted to stare at half naked guys having sex." Hinata said, biting back a laugh that itched in her throat.

Naruto and Sasuke twitched.

"Not-gay-die-Naruto." Was all Sasuke managed to get out before attempting to gouge his eyes out with a spork to rid himself of horrible mental images that now flooded his mind, only to be stopped by Kakashi.

"You are going to need those later on Sasuke…trust me." Kakashi said with a grin, that you couldn't really tell was a grin on account of the mask covering his entire face…except for his eye. That you could see.

Naruto didn't say anything…he was far too busy convulsing on the floor, rolling around. Kakashi didn't bother to stop him…after all, what could rolling around on the floor hurt?

"How can she think I'm gay? She chases me for four years and comes to this conclusion?" Sasuke muttered, more to himself than anyone else.

"Hey Sakura?" Hinata asked.

"Yeah?" Sakura answered, taking a sip of her soda.

"Why _does_ that sensei of yours always wear that mask anyway?"

Sakura shrugged.

"I think it is kind of hot." said Ino. "You know…very phantom-like."

Tenten nodded in agreement. "Gerard Butler…mmm. Hot and Scottish, the perfect combination if you ask me. Huh? Kind of makes you want _Kakashi-sensei_ doesn't it?" She said with a smile.

"I concur. Ugh, had he only been teaching me how to make the music of the night instead of bloodying me up with two gay guys…" Sakura said, looking off with a dreamy expression.

Hinata sighed. "Yes lovely…but if you ask me, Jesse Spencer is better."

Tenten stared at her in shock. "You mean Doctor pretty boy? Tch. Gerard owns him. I mean hello…Gerard is like a 20 on a scale of 10 and Aussie kid is like a 15."

"Ha!" Hinata shouted. "Chase wins. He is Australian. It's all about the accent."

"Hello! Scottish. Accent. Duh." Was all Tenten said before the four of them started laughing again.

Kakashi only stared at the screens in shock. Ha. He knew they wanted him. Damn age limitations.

Sakura rolled her head back in laughter. "You know what? We _need _ these moments. Seriously, Naruto and Sasuke aren't willing to talk to me about guys…"

Ino narrowed her eyes suspiciously.

"I wouldn't be so sure. Have you ever tried?"

"No, I haven't…Oh my God, I should invite Sasuke to see the new Pirates of the Caribbean with me. Then we can _both _stare at Orlando Bloom in his hot Pirate glory-ness."

Tenten stood up abruptly. "I know what we can do!"

"What?" Hinata asked 'curiously'.

"How about a game of spin the bottle?" she suggested.

"There are only girls here Tenten." Ino pointed out.

"Tch. That just makes it all the more fun!" Tenten decided.

Sakura nodded. "I'm in. _Guys_?" She directed her gaze toward Ino and Hinata.

They both nodded. Tenten clapped happily and Sakura went into the kitchen to find an empty bottle.

She came back with a glass bottle and placed it on the coffee table that the rest of the girls were now sitting around. Oh yeah. It was time for that revenge.

"No…no! Damn it! Tell me why I'm stuck with a couple of boys who are probably gay while a bunch of beautiful young girls are about to go wild?" Sasuke and Naruto stared at their sensei while he bounced in his seat.

Naruto scratched his head.

"What's 'spin the bottle'?" he asked curiously. Sasuke shrugged. Neither of the boys had ever actually _been _to a slumber party, and thus knew nothing about the games in which one took part in at one. How were they to know what this game meant? They were just innocent bystanders.

Kakashi looked at them with wide eyes as he told them of all the wonders that were 'Spin the Bottle'.

"Okay Sakura, your turn." Ino pushed the bottle toward Sakura who nodded.

She took the bottle and spun it, closing her eyes while it moved. She opened her eyes and looked at the person the bottle had chosen for her to kiss…Hinata. She sighed. Might as well make this believable.

Sakura moved toward Hinata. She could tell that her friend was uncomfortable with the entire situation. She smiled warmly at her to calm her nerves. It was only a game after all.

Their kiss was simple and short, nothing too crazy. Hopefully it would be believable. Pulling away, both girls flushed and tried not to cry out in disgust. However, it had only been a kiss…nothing more and nothing less. They would somehow survive!

Sakura handed the bottle to Ino. "Your turn." she said, with a somewhat sadistic tone.

Ino happily took the bottle. Unlike her friends she really wasn't embarrassed.

She spun the bottle and smiled when it landed on Tenten. At least the two of them could give the guys SOME sort of entertainment.

Tenten didn't seem to mind that she had to kiss her friend. The other two just watched as Ino pressed her lips against Tenten's. The kiss lasted far longer than Sakura and Hinata's had, and Sakura could have sworn she saw Ino slip her tongue in. Or maybe it was her imagination.

Hinata took the bottle from Ino and spun it, it landed on Ino.

Shrugging, Ino moved toward Hinata and before the girl could object she was kissing her. It was harder than Sakura had. She guessed that Ino knew that she didn't really like the whole idea so she didn't try anything like she had with Tenten. Hinata smiled.

A bit later, it was Ino's turn once more. The blonde haired girl spun the bottle. When it landed on Sakura a thought popped in her head. Her enemy/best friend scooted close to her. Ino leaned over to whisper in Sakura's ear.

"Let's give your stoic boyfriend a _real _show."

Without saying another word, the two girls kissed. Hinata and Tenten blushed. Ino parted Sakura's lips with her tongue and Sakura moaned. The other two weren't really sure if it was forced or real. Ino and Sakura ran their hands up and down each other's bodies while they kissed. It was at least two minutes before the two of them finally stopped. Sakura pulled away, smirking.

"You guys want to do something else now?"

All three boys sat speechless, mouths open. Only one thought on _all _of their minds.

That's it.

The three of them stood up to leave, all of them headed in the same direction.

The girls were sitting in the living room talking about nothing in particular. They figured they had given the guys enough of a show and they would take great pleasure in killing them slowly tomorrow morning.

They were about to head into Sakura's room when the door was slammed open.

Naruto, Sasuke and Kakashi were now standing in Sakura's half destroyed living room.

"That was wrong." Sasuke said slowly. "So….wrong."

Kakashi was still speechless. That was WAY better than a novel.

"Hinata?" Naruto questioned. She tried to sneak away, but he had already spoken to her, it would be utterly impossible to slip away unnoticed now.

There was an uncomfortable silence filling the room.

"WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? SPYING ON US! YOU DISGUST ME! I THOUGHT THAT I COULD TRUST YOU! YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE MY TEAMMATES! AND MY….SENSEI…WOW KAKASHI I MEAN WOW. I SHOULD SERIOUSLY CALL THE POLICE OR SOMETHING. SERIOUSLY. YOU GUYS…ARE SICK. And don't worry. You are going to die. I promise."

Naruto and Sasuke raised their hands in defense.

"Hinata! Sakura…you guys! Kill Kakashi!" Naruto panicked. "He is the one that made us come without telling us why and he never told me the circumference of a moose! So I say get Kakashi!"

Sasuke just nodded his head in agreement.

Kakashi backed away slowly. "You guys wouldn't hurt me…. I look like Erik! And I am sexy! And…..I have a mask! Who doesn't love masks?"

The girls all rounded on Kakashi.

Then let's just say there was revenge. Revenge that involved chocolate pudding, a turkey, 2000 pounds of jello, a penguin with ADD, a male stripper, a giant birthday cake, and Regis Philben. Yes. It was definitely revenge.

Ciao!

Also I don't own things.

If you think I do. I suggest death. Yes. Go die. But review first. Eh. Kaythxbye!

Also Milly helped me write this story YAY MILLY! She rocks. Go siriusallpunked...which is her pen name go read her stuff it rocks. Not like this. Better. This was just random.


End file.
